put on a happy face.

i'm really slacking on this new blog. forgive me friends, i've had a ton of life thrown at me this month. let me let you into my world by points.

• i found out that my 74 year old aunt, who has been mentally retarded since the age of five, was in the hospital on her death bed. she had to have some type of breathing mask over her face which allowed her to not eat for a couple of days. she kept having heart failure after seizing multiple times and although she didn't know what she was experiencing we knew she had to be in terrible pain. my mother kept praying "God please just take her home".. finally a couple of nights after (march 14th.. my wedding anniversary) she received a call from the hospital. God had taken her. we couldn't be sad though. just imagine, after that last breath being in a new body that works! it was the first day of her life! how could we be so selfish to be sad that she passed? but.. here i find myself, in the dumps. praise God she is healed.. but please heal our thoughts and hearts as well.

• we just celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary by visiting memphis, tn. my family was wonderful for helping me with my children the whole time. it was a four day and three night get away! we took a carriage ride downtown, thrift shopped, got lost, talked to a lot of interesting people, listened to an ungodly amount of blues, rockabilly, and jazz music, and possibly could have had a drink or two. it was a very nice time of get away and not being responsible for anyone other than ourselves, but by the end of the trip i was in tears because i just didn't feel right now having my girls. we left early and couldn't have made it home faster! 

• lastly... ella's FIRST birthday is this thursday. i've been having a hard time accepting the fact that she's going to be one and walking around talking our heads off soon. this is my last baby to carry. i had my tubes tied right after i had her. it was a strong suggestion by my dr, who is never for anything like that. my body makes too big of children, and it's hard for me to handle. it's left me with server back pain among other things that.. well.. you could only know if we just went on our 30th date. ;) i had both of my children about two weeks early and they were about 10.5 each. ezra was natural ALL natural, by accident... and ella was a planned c-section. anyway.. i've had this dumb feeling for a few months. i keep feeling like i am an empty home. no longer will i have anyone living inside of me and depending on me for food and shelter. i miss those little kicks and under cut punched to my bottom ribs. good news is that the older the girls get, the easier it is to care for them. i am slowly getting over the baby stage! two is perfect for me.. bottom line, i'd love to adopt one day, but for right now our family is perfect and i need to quit being a tit. 

would you all like to see some pictures of the trip?? of course you would! here ya go!

this is the moment we hit the interstate and we're sooo ready!

 

we got to our hotel and the bumped our stay into a suite. it was so nice on the 12th floor. wes and i wanted to do something that we don't usually do.. so.. we decided to take a cab downtown. (our first cab ride. without me sounding racist.. i was so glad that it was an indian man. the whole experience was perfect. he was a horrible drive speeding everywhere and honking.. it was wonderful.)

 

for breakfast the next morning, we decided to go to waffle house because the ihop had horrible workers! we sat up at the counter and watched those cooks do some magic! i don't know how they do it. orders are being yelled out, and they do it without missing a beat! they were all so friendly. it was a wonderful start to a st. patrick's day!

  

we also went to a massive goodwill and i scored these beautiful items! a few of them still had tags on them. i came out spending $28. i almost feel guilty for buying it all so cheap! not guilty enough to just leave. they are all in my closet. :)

 

we went to the memphis zoo. it was so awesome. wes and i have always been into zoos, museums, aquariums, and things like that. turns out (this is random) this elephant is on that wes grew up with. his childhood best friend's parents owns this place in detroit, texas called jan and kay ranch. it's a christian ranch where you can have parties, camps.. whatever.. this is one of their elephants that they donated. hello eadie!

 

this was my first time to see a panda bear up close in person. all i could see was his cute little butt in the window because he was a lazy sucker. looked like he needed some cuddles.

oh yes, this was a little bit of the line to get in. it took almost 45 minutes of standing in the hot sun. the line wrapped around the whole parking lot. i guess it's because of spring break. we knew it was going to be busy because the parking lot was full, and with them gating it off, there were hundreds of cars parked along side houses. that went on for blocks and blocks.

 

this is my sweet watch i got a rue 21. a sweet wrap watch for $12. that's not too bad! i love it so much and it's so comfortable. 

 

ah yes, here is a morning view out our window. memphis for the most part was pretty filthy. it's like, when people are done with their trash they throw it all over the place. texas and arkansas (at least from my hometown until tennessee line) are much MUCH cleaner. my most favorite part of it was german town though. it had everything and was so clean.

  

this is on the drive home. we went through some tornado weather, but man i didn't care. i just wanted to get home to my two sweet baby girls. i need them just like the air i breath. 

  

when we got home it was the sweetest thing. ezra was standing at the glass door ready to pounce on her daddy! ella was in the floor squinting trying to see through the sunlight. when i went to scoop her up, she started doing these "huh" sounds. not sure if she was wanting to cry or laugh. it was somewhere in between. both girls were just as happy to see us and we were to see them.

i say this right now, but who knows what tomorrow will hold.. i don't want to leave them again. 

i'm sure when i'm handing out spankings and time outs tomorrow i will think differently. ;) 

until then, good night friends and hug the ones you love.